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agnes1977's Blog


unappreciated

I feel so unappreciated sometimes... I feel the ex wife says thank you but doesnt mean it... So when she says thank you I dont write back and say your welcome because she doesnt mean what she says... It really drives her crazy because she write back all these thank yous and I dont respond...
I do everything for her and our son and I just feel like I'm not appreciated at all... Last week I wanted him at 5 to have a movie night... Wll that day she wanted me to get him at 3 and I was busy cleaning up the house he hates the vacuum cleaner so its hard to clean with him here. Bcause I didnt get him when she wanted me too she wouldnt let him stay till 7:30... I ended up begging like a dog... I wrote her that I do everything for her and she wrote back whatever bring him later... That made me so angry and I tend to cry when I'm upset and during the movie tears were just runnin down my face... She brings out the worst in me... Tomorrow I'm picking him up from school and keeping him till 8 and thuursday I'll be picking him up from school and hes staying the night and I'm taking him to school. Shes going on a trip where she always says she never goes anywhere. In the last month shes been to atlanta and to miami and we have him every weekend... Sometimes she misses his football games to go on trips... I do all the practices and games and I keep him so she can go out with her married boyfriend... People say I'm crazy for keeping him all the time and she goes off on her merry way... I guess I am crazy to put up with her shit but if I didnt love our son I wouldnt do it... I agonize over this shit constantly why do I care so much? I'm always the one that people take advantage of I'm too nice. When I want something though or need something I'm told no or whatever...
I guess I'm a pawn in peoples plans... My family does this to me too... If I'm there its go get me this go get me that and wash these clothes why cant I say no? I hate being this way... How do I stop this craziness that goes in my veignes all the time... I bitch and complain about her constantly I hate this I'm sure my boyfriend gets tired of it too... I complain about her to him and I can tell hes aggravated at times over it... Plus she calls him and gripes about me... When I do nothing but good stuff for her... somedays I just want to say f**k it and be a bitoch but I dont because I'm a nice and caring person...
I also found out that shes back friends with the girl who really split us up... I feel betrayed because when we had our MOMENT with all that the crazy girl told all of us lies... The ex came in saying she was sorry and being nice and how she wasnt gonna talk to her anymore... and now their back friends I really feel betrayed by her going back and being friends with her... I'm really hurt by that...
How can I get this anger and feelings of betrayal out of me...?

Jelousy

I swear I have got to be the most jelous woman ever... Why am I this way? I've never had a significant other who has been married before or has a child. I have a son also but hes much older 17. my bf his son is 8. His ex wife is around of course and I do like her but she makes me be very jelous hearted... I feel less than she is. I feel I have to look better than her. She gained weight when she stopped smoking and I was so elated. I pulled her out some of my bigger pants and just knowing she was bigger than me made me so happy...
So she sends me this little card about the hcg diet and she started losing weight so I had to lose too just to look good since she was starting. I was like in compatition with her. Well she lost 30 pds and is my size now a size 8 so now I feel so stressed that I'm not losing. But she did have to lose 30 pounds to get to where I am. While she was heavy I always tell my bf that I was bigger than her when she really had 30 pounds on me... It was in my head...
On our anniversarys she always is a bitch and our son showed me how she was saying "aniversary" in finger parenthasis being a biotch.
So I know shes jelous of me too and how he takes me places and holds my hands the son has told us what she says like how he never took her anywhere. my bf said anytime they went somewhere her parents would have to come. How is that supposed to be romantic... seriously...
I"m 10 years younger and very blonde and pretty shes not that attractive to me. and others have seen her pic and think shes not that attractive. SOOOOO why am I so jelous I hate it so bad.......
what makes me like this?


She also isnt as involved in the sports things I do with our son I say our son because I think of him as my own.. I take him to practice and do things with him. I throw the football with him. His dad works at night so a lot of times he cant be there. I keep him so she can go out with her boyfriend whos married. Anytime she needs me to take him to school or pick him up... I do all that, If it comes to if I wanna do something during the weekends she has a fit that she dont get to go no where. She goes out every thursday night he stays with me. we have him every weekend and if I wanna do something which I hardly do ever because I'm a home body. So if I ever do want to go out the first thing she says is I dont get to go anywhere. Shes going to some bike rally with her boyfriend and I needed her to stay 2 hours so I could get back to get him thats the first thing she said I dont get to go anywhere....  So instead of waiting shes letting the crazy lady up the road pick him up. This erks me so much... Its hard to deal with sometimes when if I want to take him somewhere she says no but as long as I'm home and shes wanting her boyfriend to come over its fine...... I hate being this way............ whats wrong with me?

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Previous Posts
unappreciated, posted October 23rd, 2012
Jelousy, posted October 3rd, 2012

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